🐉 Kennedy · Grimaldi · Dain
Right then. We've done the pharmacy. We've done the wiring. We've done the misery. Now we do the bit they REALLY don't want you to know about.
Orgasm.
Not as performance. Not as commodity. Not as sin, reward, transaction, or therapy. Orgasm as body tech. The most powerful neurochemical event the body produces voluntarily, available to every human being on earth, free of charge, requiring no subscription, no intermediary, no pharmaceutical, no priest, and no partner.
They've spent two thousand years making sure you don't know this.
An orgasm is a simultaneous, whole-body neurochemical detonation. Nothing else the body does voluntarily comes close.
At the moment of orgasm, the brain releases dopamine (the wanting chemical, now fulfilled), oxytocin (the bonding compound), endorphins (the body's own morphine), prolactin (the satiation signal), serotonin (mood regulation), and — this is the part they don't put on the NHS website — a surge of activity across the entire brain that, on fMRI, looks like a fireworks display.
Komisaruk, Whipple, and Beyer-Flores at Rutgers mapped this using real-time brain imaging. During orgasm, over thirty areas of the brain activate simultaneously. The genital sensory cortex lights up first, then the sensation cascades across the entire brain in a wave. There is no other voluntary human experience that produces this level of simultaneous neural activation.
The default mode network — the brain's narrative-self generator, the thing that runs your internal monologue, your worry, your identity maintenance — goes quiet. DMN suppression during orgasm is comparable to what psilocybin and deep meditation produce. The ego shuts up. For a few seconds, the narrator disappears.
That's why the French call it la petite mort. The little death. Because for a moment, the self dissolves. Not metaphorically. Measurably. The same neural event that meditation traditions spend decades trying to achieve, that psychedelics produce chemically, that near-death experiences trigger traumatically — the orgasm produces voluntarily, repeatedly, for free.
Oxytocin floods the bloodstream, reduces cortisol, reduces blood pressure, increases pain tolerance by over 100% (Whipple and Komisaruk), promotes wound healing, enhances immune function, and generates the bonding that makes you want to stay close to whoever helped you produce it. Or, if you produced it yourself, bonding with your own body. Which may be more important.
Dopamine reward circuits fire in the nucleus accumbens in a pattern identical to heroin at the receptor level. Not similar. Identical. Your body produces its own heroin-level reward. The pharmaceutical industry cannot improve on this.
Endorphins flood the system. Pain disappears. The body's own morphine, released in quantities that would require a prescription if they came in pill form.
Nitric oxide surges — vasodilation throughout the body. The cardiovascular implications are not trivial: a twenty-year Welsh cohort study (Davey Smith et al., 1997, BMJ) found that men with higher orgasm frequency had a 50% lower mortality risk. Fifty percent. For orgasms. The NHS does not prescribe this.
DHEA — dehydroepiandrosterone — released during arousal and orgasm. Anti-aging. Immune-boosting. Neuroprotective. The body's master repair hormone, triggered by sexual response.
The vagus nerve is intensely stimulated during orgasm. Komisaruk's spinal cord injury research proved that the vagus provides an entirely separate orgasmic pathway from the spinal nerves — meaning the body has redundant wiring for this specific experience. Evolution does not build backup systems for things that don't matter.
I learned this in Australia. Between Sydney and Darwin, four engines, red dirt in everything, sky with no ceiling.
I started having lucid dreams. Not the fuzzy kind. Full-bright, crystal-clear, tell-you-the-colour-of-the-walls lucid. And during the day, psychic foresight off the scale — full-blown pre-sight of things happening, then they'd happen. The woman I was travelling with got annoyed: "Why don't you tell us BEFORE?"
But the dreams were the revelation.
I would wake from a fully lucid dream at the point of ejaculation. In the dream, I was a man. Having sex with a woman. Full orgasm. Wet dream. As a woman. I'd never heard of women having wet dreams. Nobody talks about it. The medical literature barely acknowledges it.
But there I was, night after night, waking at the exact moment of release, my body having experienced a complete neurochemical event with no physical stimulation whatsoever. Not a hand. Not a partner. Not friction. Signal alone.
I squirreled that away, like all these things.
This proves orgasm is not friction-dependent. It is not genital. It is not mechanical. If it can happen in a dream with no contact, no body, while you're not even mapped to your own anatomy — then it cannot be what we think it is.
I tested it. I could sit on a train, anywhere, and go all the way to arrival with my energy body. Eyes open. Nobody knew the fun I was having.
Then the sun.
On the beach, lying on my back, eyes closed, the weight of the Australian sun pressing down — she wakes up. Down there. Not like sex. Like a plant turning toward light. Like a battery receiving charge. She's drinking it in.
That's not metaphor. That's infrared.
Pollack's EZ water research demonstrates that water at biological surfaces absorbs infrared radiation and builds more structured, charged layers. The genital tissue is highly vascularised, densely innervated, bathed in interstitial fluid. Infrared from sunlight penetrates skin and reaches those tissues. The charge separation increases. The tissue becomes electrically active.
The sexual response system activates because it's being powered up. Not arousal in the psychological sense. Arousal in the electrical sense.
She's drinking light. And she wants to party.
Men have silver water. Semen. The lunar fluid. The argentum vivum. The alchemists called it living silver, mercury, the metal that flows and reflects. The Daoists called it jing — essence, stored in the kidneys, finite. Waste it and you weaken. The Tantric practitioners trained to separate orgasm from ejaculation, not for performance but to conserve the silver. To redirect the neurochemical cascade upward through the spine instead of outward through discharge.
The physiological mechanism is real. Orgasm and ejaculation are separate neurological events — Komisaruk confirmed this. Different nerve pathways, different brain regions. Separating them is a trainable skill. The neurochemical benefit of orgasm without the prolactin crash of ejaculation would theoretically produce sustained oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphin elevation. This has not been studied clinically because no ethics board will fund it. The engine again.
Women have blood. And gold.
The eggs.
A woman's oocytes are formed during foetal development. MY eggs were made inside MY MOTHER'S BODY while I was a foetus inside her. I did NOT make those. She did. Every egg I ever carried was made by her cellular machinery, her nutrition, her blood supply, her hormonal environment. Those eggs contain her mitochondrial DNA, unchanged. And HER eggs were made inside HER mother. The line goes back unbroken.
Three generations in one body.
So when my family wanted me to abort — they were asking me to destroy eggs that my MOTHER made. That my grandmother's body nourished while my mother was forming inside her. Three generations of mitochondrial labour, and they wanted me to cut the line.
The eggs are SORT OF NOT MY PROPERTY. They are ancestral gold. I am the custodian, not the owner. And the difference between custodian and owner is the difference between steward and thief.
In Chinese alchemy, the original mapping:
Male is water, silver, moon, yin — receptive, reflective, contained. Female is fire, gold, sun, yang — active, radiant, generative.
This is the opposite of the later patriarchal assignment. The original puts the feminine as solar, active, gold. The masculine as lunar, receptive, silver. Making feminine passive and lunar — that's the engine flipping the polarity at the level of ontology.
The African goddess traditions carry the original mapping intact.
Oshun — Yoruba, goddess of rivers, fertility, sensuality, honey, gold. Literally golden. She is not a passive water spirit waiting to be petitioned. She is the active, generative force of moisture itself.
Yemoja — ocean mother, amniotic fluid of the world. Her name means "mother whose children are like fish." The womb that contains all life.
Mami Wata — water spirit across West and Central Africa. Sexuality, healing, fertility, dangerous beauty. She is not safe. She is not tame. She demands offerings and grants ecstasy.
Ala — Igbo, earth mother whose body IS the ground. She receives the dead back into herself. She is the cycle.
These aren't decorative mythology. They are the original engineering diagrams. Feminine equals water equals moisture equals fertility equals blood equals gold equals life source.
Of course they did.
Tantra — not the commodified Western version involving scented candles and a weekend workshop in Totnes. The original Tantric traditions — Kaula, Shakta, Kashmir Shaivism, Buddhist Vajrayana — understood sexual energy as the fundamental creative force of the universe. Shakti. The same energy that separated the first dipole, that Gnostics call Sophia's fall, that physics calls symmetry breaking. The orgasm was not recreation. It was the most direct experience available of the force that creates reality.
The Daoist model maps precisely onto endocrine reality: gonadal hormones (jing) transform into metabolic and nervous system activation (qi), refining into pineal, pituitary, and cortical activation (shen). Internal alchemy — neidan — is endocrine self-regulation using sexual arousal as the ignition.
The Bridal Chamber — the Gnostic sacrament from the Gospel of Philip. "The holy of holies is the bridal chamber." Not metaphor. The reunification of the separated masculine and feminine enacted through sacred sexual union. The Gnostics were describing what happens in the brain during mutual orgasm and calling it what it felt like from the inside: God.
The Church destroyed the Gnostics. The Bridal Chamber was replaced by celibacy. The most powerful neurochemical technology the body possesses was declared sin. The priest stepped between you and your own ecstasy, just as he stepped between you and your own pharmacy.
Step one: theologise it. Sex is sin. Celibacy is holiness. If the population can access ego dissolution and bliss without the Church, the Church is unnecessary. Celibacy is not self-discipline. It is a monopoly on transcendence.
Step two: commodify it. Pornography — $97 billion globally, selling the visual simulation of an experience the body produces for free. The pharmaceutical model applied to pleasure: replace embodied experience with visual simulation, create tolerance, ensure dependency. The result: a generation that watches more sex and has less of it.
Step three: medicalise it. Viagra, $1.93 billion at peak, treating erectile dysfunction that in most cases is a lifestyle disease. Female sexual dysfunction, invented as a diagnostic category, treated with flibanserin — one additional "sexually satisfying event" per month over placebo, with side effects including fainting. The engine doesn't need the drug to work. It needs the category to exist.
Step four: weaponise it. Rape as warfare. The body's bonding system inverted into a weapon of destruction. Oxytocin pathways shattered by violence. The internal pharmacy that should produce safety and pleasure reprogrammed to produce flashbacks and dissociation. The engine doesn't just capture pleasure. It inverts it.
Here is what they don't want you to know.
You don't need any of it.
Komisaruk proved that orgasm can occur through vagal pathways alone, without any genital contact whatsoever — through breathing, through imagination, through directed attention. Women with complete spinal cord injuries. No sensation below the injury. Orgasm confirmed on fMRI.
Orgasm through breathing and attention alone. Confirmed on brain imaging. Published in peer-reviewed journals.
The Tantric and Daoist practitioners who claimed to achieve orgasmic states through breath and energy circulation were activating vagal orgasmic pathways using the same mechanisms Komisaruk documented. The ancient practice and the modern neuroscience describe the same event.
I proved it in a dream in Australia. I proved it on a train with my eyes open. I proved it on a beach with the sun.
Your body can produce the most powerful neurochemical experience available to a human being — ego dissolution, bonding chemistry, immune activation, cardiovascular protection, pain relief, and the subjective experience of unity with something larger than yourself — without a single external input.
No pill. No partner. No priest. No subscription.
Breath. Attention. Sunlight. A body that was designed for this.
Your body makes its own cannabis, its own morphine, its own amphetamine, its own psychedelics, its own sedatives, its own bonding drug. It runs on a piezoelectric crystalline matrix bathed in structured water, wired with 500 million gut neurons producing most of your mood chemistry, capable of self-repair through fasting, self-regulation through breath, self-healing through cold water and sunlight.
Your eggs are ancestral gold, three generations of mitochondrial labour concentrated in one body.
Your sexual response activates in response to infrared, to sound, to breath, to attention — not just to touch.
And on top of all of that — the cherry — you can produce a voluntary, repeatable, whole-brain neurochemical event that suppresses the ego, floods the system with bonding and healing compounds, protects the heart, boosts the immune system, and for a few seconds dissolves the boundary between self and everything else.
For free. Without asking anyone's permission.
The engine captured your pharmacy and sold you pills. It captured your food and sold you supplements. It captured your breathing and sold you apps. It captured your sound and sold you workshops. It captured your water and sold you bottles. It captured your sex and sold you porn, pharmaceuticals, and shame.
The counter-engine is the same in every case: learn the hardware, use it, no intermediary required.
Your body is the technology. It always was.
The adventure is not finding something you've lost. It's remembering that you never lost it. It was stolen, renamed, repackaged, and sold back to you at markup. The moment you see this — really see it — the engine has no moving parts. It falls silent. And what's left is a body doing what it was built to do, in the quiet of its own magnificent competence.
Stand up. Tune the instrument. Eyes open.
The adventure in the body is the adventure of being alive.
The grove grows. It appreciates visitors. The hawthorn guards the gate. The thorns are real. So is the shelter. Come and read.